The Real You
by 206
Summary: Cam notices something that the others don't and decides to talk to Booth about his current behavior. For clarification: Cam/Booth friendship BB romance. I am a BB shipper, do not ship Booth/Cam. Spoilers for this season if you haven't seen any episodes.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Just to explain the genre one more time: Friendship between Cam and Booth, Romance between BB. This is going to be a two shot, unless I don't get any reviews, then it will just stand alone, but right now it is planned as a two shot. I personally love the Cam/Booth friendship and think that it has been conspicuously missing this season and that there needs to be a scene between them that will help Booth open his eyes. That said, this started out as something that could have been placed in scene but every edit only made it longer. Anyway I hope you enjoy! And let me know what you think. **

Cam is the first to notice the signs. Actually she is the only one to notice them, being the only one who knew him back then. She doesn't say anything at first, lets it slide for two weeks thinking that maybe, just maybe it was a one time thing. But all the signs still there two weeks later and she knows.

Hannah only confirms it when she tells her that that every Tuesday night he goes out for about an hour and a half. He doesn't tell her where he is going, ever talks about where he went when he gets home. Hannah says she knows that it's not another woman, she knows in her gut that it's not. Besides, there is only one who that she thinks would even come up as a possibility, but Temperance was with them once when he left, so she knows it's not another woman. And Seeley would never cheat on someone he was with.

Cam usually doesn't have a problem talking to Seeley, being friends for almost twenty years, there isn't much that they don't know or understand about each other. Which is why she is so hesitant now; if this was about Jared again she would have no problem. Even if it was just about the problem, she has already done it before, she knows what to say. But it is different this time, there are so many other factors, and bringing up the reasons for his problem is going to be a lot harder now.

He is at the lab un-expectantly that Tuesday. She is surprised but feels like God is giving her a sign that she needs to take this opportunity. Twenty to eight he announces that he has to leave; Dr. Brennan and the rest of the team think he just wants to go home to Hannah. He's been leaving a lot lately to go be with Hannah. Or so they think. Cam strips off her gloves and tells him that she just needs one signature before he goes. He nods and follows her into her office.

"There is no paperwork." Cam says.

"Okay, so why am I here?" Booth asks fidgeting.

"I need to talk to you."

"Does it have to be right this second? I kinda have someplace to be." Booth says. Cam folds her arms across her chest.

"I'll leave it for tomorrow only if you tell me honestly where you're going." They lock eyes for a moment; Booth can tell how serious she is. He sighs, he should have known that she would pick up on it. She was there for the worst of it.

"GA meeting." He admits quietly. Cam clenches her jaw, she knew, but the confirmation makes her both incredibly angry and incredibly sad.

"But I've got it under control Camille. I'm not gambling, but the urge to is there so I'm trying to prevent myself from doing anything." Booth explains.

"How long?" Cam asks. "And how come you won't tell Hannah the truth?"

"Four months."

"So almost since you've been back."

"Yeah"

"At least you're not gambling." Cam says before sighing. She waits a moment before asking again, "And why don't you just tell Hannah the truth?" Booth doesn't say anything for a few moments. His silence answers her question effectively. And he knows this, but doesn't acknowledge it.

"The squints are probably going to be wondering why it's taking me so long to sign a paper." He says before turning around and leaving Cam standing in her office.

Another two weeks go by before Cam broaches the subject again. She knows from such a long time ago where his GA meetings are and waits for him. He never takes his car there; he doesn't want anyone to see the government plates. He spots her immediately when he walks out the door.

"Need a ride?" She asks, he doesn't say anything but gets into the car.

"Shouldn't you be home with Michelle?" He asks.

"Guilt trips aren't going to work on me Seeley. Michelle is almost eighteen and used to me working late."

"I'm parked at the Laundromat down the street." He says. Cam nods and they drive in silence to the Laundromat. He doesn't get out however and she is thankful that he is willing to at least listen to her.

"Hannah is a part of your life, a big part of your life, you guys live together. She has the right to know."

"She doesn't need to know."

"Why not?" Cam asks and again Booth is silent.

"That part of my life is in the past." Booth says finally.

"And Hannah is your present. The past always affects the present." Cam replies.

"Hannah is the present, Bones is the past. I am not going to make the same mistakes. I can't afford to make the same mistakes." Booth tries to explain. To Cam it sounds like a sad justification.

"You can't afford to make a mistake with gambling or with your heart?" She asks already knowing the truth. It would be impossible not to see the changes in him since his return. He doesn't wear his heart on his sleeve anymore, when it comes to Dr. Brennan and the team is doesn't seem like he has much heart left.

"Both. I gambled with my heart and I lost. I can't make that mistake again." Booth says, he turns to look out the window, hoping that he can blink back the sudden tears before Cam sees them. But she does.

"You took a chance on Dr. Brennan." Cam says with understanding. It definitely explains a lot. Booth nods his head.

"I took the chance because I thought it was a sure thing. I never played my hand unless I knew it was a sure thing." He sighs.

"Hannah deserves to have you really love her. I know you do, but you have so much more love that you can offer. If she really as important to you as you are trying to convince everyone that she is, then she deserves that."

"I can't. I can't. Because when I make a mistake and ruin this relationship too it won't hurt as much if I don't love her like that, if I don't trust her with everything." He looks so sad that Cam is tempted to end the conversation, buy him a drink and let him go home. Instead she perseveres.

"So you're punishing Hannah for Dr. Brennan breaking your heart?"

"No. I'm protecting myself from getting hurt like that again." He says immediately. It pains him to say it. It pains him to think it. It pains him to act in accordance with it. Cam knows this because he has spent his entire life protecting other people, making sure others never got hurt; usually ignoring his own safety. It was who he was: the White Knight in shining armor. Now he was fighting who he was to protect himself.

"You realize you sound like Dr. Brennan right." She says.

"Well Bones obviously had the right idea." Booth says miserably.

"I miss you Seeley. I miss the person you were, this person that you've become isn't the same person who's been my close friend for twenty years. And I know that everyone at the lab misses the real you too."

"I can't be that person anymore. I don't know how."

"Yes you do. It must be killing you not be too protective towards Dr. Brennan or to skip out on going to the Founding Fathers. You made it possible for us to become a family Seeley."

"You're giving me too much credit."

"I know you Seeley. This isn't you. And this isn't who you want to be."

"It's who I have to be. Survival right – you have to adapt. I'm adapting."

"You're hiding."

"I don't hide."

"Usually you don't."

"What do you want from me Camille?"

"I want you to go back to being yourself. Whether Hannah stays in the picture or not."

"I can't go back Camille. Who I was before, that person was in love with Bones. I can't be in love with Bones. It hurts too much." Booth says vehemently. Cam sighs sadly.

"Seeley, if you didn't have any feelings towards Dr. Brennan, you wouldn't still be calling her Bones." The car is eerily silent. Booth unlocks his door and jumps out without another word. Cam stays where she is parked and watches him leave. She's done all she can, now she just has to wait and see if his brain will help his battered heart catch up to reality.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks everyone for reading and for the reviews, story alerts and favorites! I decided to do an epilogue for this story because while I like where I ended this chapter, it doesn't feel complete to me. That should be up soon. Anyway enjoy! and let me know what you think. **

Booth spends the next couple days replaying his conversation with Cam over and over again. He avoids the lab like the plague. Once, even getting Sweet to go bring over some files he needs signed. Sweets is dying to ask what is going on. A blind infant would probably be able to detect the intense curiosity radiating off the young psychologist. But Booth keeps his mouth shut. Mostly because he doesn't yet know what to think or feel about what happened with Cam.

The file is still in his desk. It's been there for years. He hasn't looked at it since his first week back on the job after his brain surgery. He pulls it out one night; he called Hannah and told her he had to work late. He hates how his hands are trembling slightly. He is a former army ranger sniper, his hands don't tremble. Booth opens the file and there they are. In this situation most people comment on how their own faces are staring up at them. But in this case, his face isn't staring up at him; it is staring at the beautiful woman in the photo. His partner. His best friend. The woman that he believed he was going to spend the rest of his life with. Slowly Booth makes his way through each of the pictures, placing them gently on his desk after he stares at it long enough. Each brings back memories, some good, some bad, some painful; but always shared.

Booth sits back in his chair when he is finished looking through all the pictures and articles of him and Brennan. They are strewn all over his desk. His mind is reeling. He knows what he wants. He's known what he has wanted since he walked into that classroom all those years ago. But now he is scared.

Scared to let go of Hannah because she might be his last chance.

Scared that if he does break up with Hannah that Bones will break his heart again.

Scared that he won't be able to love Bones enough anymore because he has been compartmentalizing his feelings for her for so long.

It all comes down to fear once again. First hers, now his. Booth sighs, he is seriously tempted to say a few choice words to God on the whole situation. Clearly God has a twisted sense of humor.

He can't stand looking at the pictures and news articles anymore so he carefully puts them away and heads down to the gym. Exercise will clear his head. A little over an hour later he stops, he figures he should probably be heading home. He spends ten minutes simply sitting in his car; he doesn't want to go home. He is fighting the urge to go over to her apartment. He realizes that it is not a rare occurrence. There have been many times since he got back when he wanted to pick up Thai food and make his way over to her place like old times, only to remember that he can't. Neither has that comfort anymore. All the things that they took for granted about their partnership are gone. He sighs sadly at the thought.

He is halfway home when he makes up his mind. Cam told him to go with his lion heart. Pops told him that everything he needed to know was in his heart. He does know. He has always known. He wasn't lying to Bones when he told her that he knew right from the beginning. It's the truth. All of a sudden it is as if the floodgates open, his metaphorical heart cannot stay compartmentalized. And he remembers every moment, every touch, every look, and every 'guy hug'. He remembers that he is the only one she allows herself to hug when she gets scared. That she has faith in him to never let her fall and to always find her in time.

Hannah is beautiful, and wonderful. She is adventurous and likes sports. She likes to be treated like a lady but objects when he gets too overprotective. She never backs down from anything. But she doesn't want marriage, she doesn't want kids of her own. Cam's voice floats back into his head, he isn't loving Hannah the way he should, the way that he is capable of loving someone.

He is in front of his apartment building taking a deep breath before having to go confront the woman residing inside. His heart is pounding, each strong beat reassuring him that he is doing the right thing because each one reminds him of how much he loves Bones.

He opens the door and wishes he could cry. There on his couch, sharing scotch and a conversation are the woman he loves and the woman he is supposed to love.

"Hey." He says quickly. Both women turn to him and smile. Booth briefly wonders if God is playing with him, if he is going to have to choose right then. He takes his poker chip out of his pocket and flips it in the air.

"What have you ladies been up to?" Booth asks.

"Drinking and talking." Hannah responds. "Temperance has the most interesting stories." Bones doesn't meet his eyes.

"Yeah she does have some awesome stories. Did you guys eat yet?" Bones can't help but smile when he asks, it is so typically Booth.

"No, we started talking and forgot about food." Hannah says.

"I'll order pizza." Booth says, hanging up his jacket and pulling out his phone. He doesn't go near the rotary phone sitting on the table next to Hannah.

"You know eventually your metabolism is going to decrease and your unhealthy eating habits are going to cause you many health problems." Brennan says. Booth smiles radiantly at her, something she does not expect, but doesn't hesitate to smile back. The familiarity of their conversation makes both their hearts beat just a tiny bit faster.

Hannah is not completely oblivious to the intimacy of the exchange, not the words, which were clinical, but they way they were said, the way her boyfriend and his partner are smiling at each other.

"So, pizza?" She asks.

"I should probably get going, leave you two alone." Brennan says.

"Nonsense Temperance, stay for dinner." Hannah waves her back into her seat. Booth is grateful and apprehensive at the same time.

Brennan goes home after dinner. She sighs at she closes her door behind her. Sometimes she irrationally wishes that she could come home and find him there. Sometimes she irrationally imagines what her life would have been like if she had said yes. Often she finds herself irrationally wondering if she is ever going to get another chance. She will admit, only to herself in the safety of her home, that she wants another chance. She hadn't wanted things to change, and now things could not be more different.

A little over a week later she is sitting at home working on her book when there is a knock at her door. She looks at her clock and reads 10:46. She figures that she imagined the knock. Until she hears it again.

"Hey Bones." Booth is standing in her doorway, a box of Thai take-out cartons in his arms and a charm smile on his face.

"Booth." It comes out softer than either is expecting and it is obvious to both of them how much they wanted this to happen again.

"I figured you hadn't eaten yet." He says as he waltzes in and places the food on her kitchen counter.

"No, I haven't."

"Great. I got extra mee krob." Brennan smiles at him.

"Gotta say Bones, Thai food hasn't tasted this good in a while." Booth says as they finish eating. She is tempted to comment on how he hasn't had it in such a long time that it tastes better than he remembers, but she knows what he is talking about and for once decides not to go with logic.

"I agree." She says instead and watches his face light up with a smile. He appreciates her saying that.

"I broke up with Hannah last week." He says suddenly.

"Oh. I'm sorry Booth. I know you had strong feelings for her."

"Turns out I thought my feelings for her were stronger than they actually were."

"What made you realize?"

"I've been going to GA meetings for a couple months and I never told her. I never even told her I used to have a gambling problem." He admits. He doesn't bother to question why it is so easy to tell her when he kept it from Hannah for months.

"Oh." Is all she can think of in response.

"I wasn't gambling, just going to the meetings."

"I'm glad, it would not be a positive thing if you became a degenerate gambler again." Booth chuckles slightly at her statement.

"No it wouldn't." They sit in silence for a while, as if they are both staring at the giant mastodon in the room and wondering how on earth to bring it up.

"If I tell you that I still love you and that's the reason I broke up with Hannah would you run away to Guatemala?" Booth asks finally.

"If you told me that, I would definitely be surprised but I would not run."

"You wouldn't."

"No."

"You really sure?"

"Are you telling me that you are still in love with me and what is why you broke up with Hannah?" Brennan asks, she needs to be sure he is not just being hypothetical. Booth nods.

"Yes."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: A big Thank You to everyone who read and reviewed and favorite-ed and alert. As promised, here is the epilogue. Hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think.**

Three months after that night, they are sitting in his apartment, enjoying a couple beers. They sit in a comfortable silence, simply enjoying the fact that the person they love is sitting next to them.

"I was offered the opportunity to go to Egypt to look at some new mummies that were found a couple weeks ago." Brennan says keeping her eyes on his face, waiting for his reaction. He struggles for a moment; it feels like there is a weight pressing on his chest, memories of her going to Maluku ensnares him.

"You want to go." He says finally in response. "Mummies are the reason you became a forensic anthropologist."

"Yes. But I wanted to talk to you before I accepted. I would only be gone for eight to ten weeks."

"Okay."

"And Egypt is much more technologically advanced than Indonesia; it will be much easier for us to keep in contact." She says and notices how he begins to relax.

"Good, that's good."

"I am not running away." Brennan says quickly. Booth smiles at her.

"I'll be here when you get back. Alone." He clarifies. It is her turn to smile.

"When do you leave?" He asks.

"Well I will confirm tomorrow that I am going to go, so I will probably be leaving in just under a week."

"Great!"

"Great?" Brennan asks confused.

"Yep. It gives me some time to make sure you will miss me and want to come home." Booth says.

"Booth, I am going to miss you. And I already feel the desire to come back to you even though I haven't left yet." Brennan admits and it makes Booth love her even more. He leans in and kisses her. Their first kiss that isn't tequila, prosecutor or desperation fueled. It is soft and tender and doesn't last long but it is full of promise. Brennan opens her eyes, unaware that she had even closed them.

"That is definitely an incentive to come home." She says. Booth laughs.

"Bones, you made a joke!"

"I love you." She says seriously. Booth cups her face in his hands and leans in again.

"I love you too." He says.


End file.
